March 2, 2011 § Leave a comment
The hardest part that I’ve had to deal with, the greatest challenge in all that has happened… is something that I didn’t want to ‘fess up to. But there it was, staring at me in the face.
Oh man… how could I possibly feel this way?
I truly thought I had it settled, especially since it was a daily prayer. God, break my pride into a million pieces. Crush it if it ever surfaces.
Because I don’t need it.
Don’t want it.
Have no use for it.
But wait, before you start…
Can I explain that I work hard at this? Does anyone see the hours, the days, the nights? I do it for You. For them! … for me? Oh come on, some recognition! That’s all I desire. Someone to say, it’s her! She’s the one!
that… stinks, it does.
It’s not who I am so just take it away.
You know what… I’ll be fine.
This journey, this shedding of all that flesh so craves, this breaking. Destroy it… let things fall a p a r t . Make what I think, my understanding, grow small… because at the end of the day, the truth is . . . it’s really not about
not one bit.