that one song

March 1, 2011 § Leave a comment

‘See that guy over there with the guitar? Well, he sings to us every day and night. Doesn’t matter what we’re doing – watching the television, doing work or having a meal… he just comes over and asks if he can sing.’ Darren shared during our latest visit.

He had been admitted to the mental hospital due to a breakdown that occurred after a series of late nights and stressful days but thankfully, was recovering well enough to be sarcastic.

‘You know what’s the worst bit?’ he continued.

‘What?’

‘He only knows one song. Country road, take me home… argh!’ Darren clutched his head in agony.

‘If you aren’t mental when you enter this place, you’ll be mental when you leave…’

*

‘I once worked beside the most amazing creative designer. I mean, he was one of the best!’ the Designer shared. ‘But every morning when he got in, the first thing he did was to turn on his music. And damn… it was always the same song! Day in, day out… it drove me mad.’

‘Didn’t you get him any other music?’ We were laughing hard into our cokes.

‘Doesn’t matter. He only wanted that one song. I think… it was the way he got into his creative zone. The greatest joke though, was that at the annual company dinner, he won the first prize! An iPod!’ the Designer said.

‘I wonder if all there was inside… was that one song?’ the Husband piped in.

*

I have that one song too.

It’s not an actual tune I carry around in my iPod. Neither is it something I choose to listen to.

But it’s a refrain, a repeated line that refuses to leave, one which haunts me with its sheer existence.

You’re not good enough. No one sees you. You can’t make it. They don’t like you. Who cares what you do? You failed again. You suck. Your work is just crap. Man… you’re the pits.’

And I can’t fight it when the tune begins in my head. I try to block it out by thinking about other things but hey, guess what? It doesn’t work. I try reading… same results. Like the Country-road singer or the creative designer… it’s insistent on singing its tune. And it wears me down.

Which was when my lightning quick mind yelled at me.

‘Shut it out!’

Oh right. I picked up the iPod, plugged my ears in and began listening to something unearthly.

And that’s when I understood the power of my choices.

And His music.

*

I wonder if anyone else has that one song?

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