dog days

Exhausted.

Incoherent.

So here are some randomly listed thoughts that went through my head today:

1. Weddings are such torture.

Especially when the couple decides to hold it on public ground so all the neighbours can hear everything they do, helped along with big-ass amplifiers and enthusiastic friends who sing throughout the 12-hour event. Non-stop. To top it all off, they blow their car horns and finish the night with Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’, at maximum volume. Did I forget to mention the cute Mickey & Mini mouse plush toy they had on their car decorations?

2. Taxi drivers are interesting specimens of the human race.

Taxi driver: Hello, your balloons are blocking my mirror. Keep it down. Down. Down.
Me: Yes sir, I understand. It’s down, down, down. Good?
Taxi driver: Yes, good, good, good.
Me: Hello mister? We’re going to Sengkang, right? I want to go to the station.
Taxi driver: Yes, yes.

15 minutes later…

Me: Are we in Sengkang?
Taxi driver: Ya. Here. We stop.
Me: Umm… it says Ponggol. Ponggol station.
Taxi driver: Ya. Sengkang.
Me: No, I want to go to Sengkang. Sengkang station.
Taxi driver: There no station. Here have. Please pay.
Me: Hello? I want to go to Sengkang station! What am I supposed to do? Walk?
Taxi driver: Ya, walk. Just cross road. $24 please.
Me: What?! No, you drive me there!

Huge sigh and another ten minutes (!) later…

Taxi driver: Here, we stop. $28 please.
Me: I am NOT paying you the extra amount! You drove me to the wrong place earlier!
Taxi driver: Okay, okay, I give you discount. $24.
Me: What discount? You cannot cheat people like that. You cannot demand more money.
Taxi driver: Ya, I already said $24.
Me: It’s not a discount!
Taxi driver: …

*argh*

3. Helium balloons are great fun.

Firstly, people can’t help but smile when they see you carry ten floating balloons above your head – in the colours of Iron Man, no less. Or as Joe puts it, the German’s flag. But the best bit is sucking on helium. Tragic songs become the greatest comedic act. Mere mortals become chipmunk stars.

4. Hot. It was a hot day. Have I said how sweltering the heat was?

5. Lost my office pass key. Found it in my bag.

6. Lost my blackberry. Found it in my bag.

7. Lost my vouchers. Found it in my bag.

8. Need to get new bag. Or new brain.

9. Mix high heels, crushing crowds, big sales, a multitude of errands… and you’ve got a wonderfully sarcastic person doing her best to look fabulous in the midst of it all. I failed.

10. Children have no qualms asking for things. Maybe adults can learn. With the little girl in tow, we got: free sushi, free toys and free stickers. Oh! And extra helpful sales assistants who want to help the little girl… who’s actually helping me. I win.

11. Children have no qualms asking for things. And when that turns into a tantrum, it’s a massive headache. We walked into the toy department and were immediately hit with a large wail. Frantic, I looked around for the dying seal but saw a tiny toddler, with his obviously harassed mother doing her best to placate and discipline him, all at the same time. Somehow, I don’t think those two elements go hand in hand. 20 minutes later, he was still squealing.

12. Birthday food cooked at home = happy food.

We had Japanese beef curry, a seaweed & chestnut soup, salad, freshly baked apply & almond pastry, almond biscuit thins, lemon cookies, ice-cream, chocolate cake and helium… I feel like a whale. A happy one.

And that’s that.

The dog day is finally over. Well, till the next oh-my-god-I-forgot-it’s-his-birthday-tomorrow celebration comes around.