view from the sidewalk
May 13, 2010 § Leave a comment
The world whizzed past in slow motion – grey skies, blurred by raindrops on the windowpane, interjected by the odd desaturated colour of passing cars and busy people. Cocooned in her quiet solitude, she sank into the seat and breathed in deep. She didn’t dare do anything for fear of breaking the moment’s fragile beauty.
At ground zero, the only thing clear to her was that which she stood on. Everything else was a passing image that melted into its surroundings. This is life. There is nothing more certain than where your feet are planted. Each time she saw something she wanted to hold on to – a picture or moment she loved – she would reach out and try to hold them tight in her hands, only to see them fade like a wilting flower, plucked from transience. These things are not meant to last forever.
Let them go. Let the pictures move on. She knew she had to. What was that they always said about life on earth? That we are merely passing through?
If that was so, why were we created with such hunger for the comforts of permanence? Why do we want forever?
‘That first night I walked you home, we began a conversation,’ he said, holding her hand tight between his shaky palms. ‘I want to continue that conversation with you, for the rest of my life.’
I have never forgotten that statement of promise that Joe made to my sister. And I want that for them – forever.
‘She made me come alive,’ the Queen said in her text to me this morning. ‘The dreams I once thought were dead, in that few days, burst into colour again and suddenly, I am willing to live again, to dare to go out and do something crazy. To fight for love.’
It impacted me. And I want that for her – love.
‘I ask him, do you think we’ve grown apart?’ A close friend shared with me tonight. ‘Ever since our child came along, we’ve grown busier and more apart but he says everything is normal, everything is good. And yet, I wonder.’
We hugged before she left and as I watched her walk away, I wanted that for her – intimacy.
‘Are you hungry?’ Smiley asked me.
It was a simple question but I pondered for a bit.
Truthfully, I am hungry but it’s not for food, and I don’t think I can find anything on this earth that will satiate this deep hunger within me.
Maybe… it’s not a thing. It’s a Person.
And I want that for me – Him.