taking a love break

May 12, 2010 § 1 Comment

When you’re young, you always feel that life hasn’t yet begun – that ‘life’ is always scheduled to begin next week, next month, next year, after the holidays – whenever. But then suddenly you’re old and the scheduled life didn’t arrive. You find yourself asking, ‘Well then, exactly what was it I was having – that interlude – the scrambly madness – all that time I had before?

– Douglas Coupland

I woke up today knowing that I wanted to live each minute for myself. ‘It’s not selfishness,’ I reasoned with my mirror, ‘I will return to civilization a better person when I have had my fill. It’s been too long that I felt guilty, every time I did something that wasn’t dictated by responsibility.’ I was determined to go on a short ‘holiday’ without actually… going anywhere.

I don’t want to get up one day, years later, looking around and seeing the many accomplishments I’ve done and wonder, what happened to the enjoyment of it all? Where did life, and the living, go?

With that in mind, I packed my bag and left the house with no real agenda. All I knew was that I wanted to sit in a cafe. I found myself, an hour later, at Starbucks, sitting alone on a balcony. I bought a triple grande hazelnut latte, a blueberry muffin and a banana… sat back on the couch and opened my book. It felt like I’d come home.

Choosing to continue in this life of little luxuries, I decided to get my hair washed and blown at my favourite hairdresser. It was sheer bliss, having my head massaged while I sipped on a vitamin C drink and read a trashy magazine.

It was all over too soon (although the timing was perfect) and I continued on to a bookstore to purchase a disc for my lunch companion. We were going to eat at a wonderful ramen restaurant and somehow, managed to squeeze in a milkshake after. I very nearly began twirling as we walked because the good food had put me on a happy high.

Sated with good food and enjoyable conversation…  I continued on to meet another friend for tea and a movie, which is yet another treat I rarely enjoy these days. We laughed, mocked each other and talked for a bit about life, before he sent me off in a cab on to my last appointment of the day – rehearsals.

I was a little tentative about singing again, after being away for so long. Would I be severely lacking in the vocals department? Will the songs be hard to catch up on? So many questions, so many doubts. All of which was silly because when I entered the room, it felt again, like I’d returned home.

When I finally began my journey home, it rained.

And that’s when I knew that my day had been truly kissed by the heavens.

*

Does this mean that there was no work that threatened to intrude on my day? Nope. I had emails flying to and fro (I couldn’t help it, had to check my blackberry) and more than a few times, needed to make calls regarding work.

Does this mean that there was no news that threatened to darken my day? Nope. I actually received an email that saddened me.

The thing is… life is for the living. And when we step forward knowing that life’s moments are embraced by the Dream Maker – who only desires to love us deeply – you can’t help but feel like a floating balloon, even if it’s amidst the harshest of storms.

My advice? Take a love break.

You probably need it.

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