nothing

April 20, 2010 § 2 Comments

‘There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.’

– Albert Einstein

I started the day the usual way: Get into the office, set up the laptop, wash my tumbler and make a fresh cup of tea, sit down to read the Word, start up laptop and check emails, do work.

I did everything but the last item. And felt robbed that the list of ten tasks to accomplish wasn’t deliciously ticked off, one by one. What did I do today?

‘I feel so… discouraged,’ I said to Cutesy. ‘On a given day, if you asked me to write something, I’d churn it out with ease. But recently, I find that I can’t write. I am just so…’

‘Scattered?’ Cutesy laughed. ‘It could be that you love to do so many things you’re stretched out all over the place. You need to focus and perhaps, let go of some of the things you love to do.’

I kept quiet after that. I knew what she was hinting at and I’m not ready to let go and walk away from my other responsibilities. I’ve always felt that while focus is important, we need to keep something in our lives that is incongruent with what we do daily.

A construction worker who reads. A cab driver who knits. A financial analyst who plays in a band. A manager who dances. A lawyer who paints. It all makes sense to me. The dissimilar areas of our lives inspire each other. Passion has never made sense anyway. Or at least, that’s my firm belief.

Well, it’s 11.07pm and the little ones are finally asleep. I have my coffee, my music and a beautiful long night ahead to prove that statement right.

‘There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.’

– Ernest Hemingway

I am ready to bleed.

*

From childhood, the one thing ingrained in me was to count my blessings. Before I get thoroughly introspective and this pity party gets full-blown, I’m going to count the nothing that I did.

1. It rained the entire day. Gorgeous. I breathed in the air and felt alive.
2. I discovered a new brown-rice tea in the pantry. Yes, it’s expired and no one has touched it. It’s therefore… all mine.
3. I contacted the guys who can do laser lights for the upcoming event – all three of them. Wonderful.
4. I printed out the transcripts. That counts, right? Yes? Okay, that’s a loser count.
5. I wore a completely new outfit combination. Never mind that I was in the exact shade of my morning cab. Gah.
6. I replied two personal emails.
7. I painted my nails black. Last night… I don’t care. This still counts!
8. I managed to squeeze in an episode of CSI. A marvel really, when you consider the free time I have.
9. The new train line has finally open and the Mother and I took the train home, instead of our usual cab. A feat, I say!
10. Two mobile phones follow me wherever I go. I changed the ringer-tone for the corporate one and set up the data system for the other to download stuff from the internet.
11. I taught JapGirl how to coil her wires.
12. I changed my mind about buying the iPhone. Decided to wait for the newer one. And proceeded to change my mind a further two more times.

‘If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction – and ultimately, without a major resolution.’

– Jasper Fforde (Something Rotten)

Yes, I am d.i.s.t.r.a.c.t.e.d. and terribly unfocused.

But I am going to get down to work now so wish me the best!

Ooooh wait… I just received an interesting message from a friend…

[walks off into the night with phone in hand]

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§ 2 Responses to nothing

  • poietes says:

    Ihave always loved tha Hemingway quote.

    I know exactly what you mean about moving through an entire day and not being entirely sure that you have accomplished anything. That being said, I think that painting your nails black, finding brown rice, and watching CSI are all good marks as accomplishments.

    • themarionette says:

      black nails, CSI and expired food… they do go well together. 🙂

      I have used that Hemingway quote so many times. Felt it too…

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