capturing gorgeous

Wednesdays are usually raucous, ear-blastingly loud and chockful of random laughter, jokes, rants and tantrums. Throw in couple of singers practising, the musicians playing their instruments while doing their personal rehearsals and you have… tired ears.

But still, I couldn’t resist listening to Jeff Buckley tonight. What can I say? His album ‘Grace (Legacy Edition)’ is brilliant and I’m enjoying it a whole lot. I wish I had the chance to watch him perform ‘live’ but since he’s passed on… youtube it is. Interesting note: Years ago during a creative lull when Radiohead hit a dry spell in their songwriting and performances, their manager took them out to watch Buckley perform. So inspiring was his performances that they returned thereafter to write and produce the amazing album, The Bends. Listen to Buckley’s ‘So Real’ and Radiohead’s ‘Creep’ & ‘Street Spirit’, you’ll understand why. Even Thom Yorke’s singing sounds like Buckley’s. I like.

Which reminds me… I have so many concerts and gigs to attend in January and February (8, at last count). I hope that my work will allow me to enjoy those nights thoroughly. Look out for my reviews then!

But back to the main event today: The release of the December issue – the one where we girls all had to get dressed up and photographed. I don’t hate it but I don’t love it.

Let’s put it this way,’ the husband replied, when I asked him what he thought of the photo-spread. ‘It’s not a badly taken picture of you, but it’s not the best I’ve seen of you. The personality conveyed in that picture is not you, and that’s the problem. I think the pictures that capture you in your relaxed moment are the best.’

How true. I think that even my profile picture on the other blogs I own are way more flattering because they’re me. In the magazine, I’m some glammed-up cat. They said that they had the most problem finding a good picture of me because I looked waaaay too sexy. Odd because darn it, I wasn’t channeling sexy. I was merely obeying the photographer when he asked me to do something.

So SEXY?!?!??!

This made me realize that due to my general disinterest in taking pictures (I have no idea where it stems from) I have failed to document landmark moments in my life – whether quirky, beautiful, special or random – I don’t have any pictures of myself that I’m specially proud of in 2009. And so much happened this year!

Now all I have is that prettified picture of a non-me. I have chucked the magazine aside. I don’t want to look at it because the more I see, the more faults I find. I think I’ll just have to find a new way to capture the gorgeous. Because that’s the root of it all – we are all gorgeous creatures who may not always look that way in pictures – now how can we frame who we are, for all posterity?

Now let’s hope I can feel this way when I get up tomorrow morning, sleep and caffeine deprived because for now, the mirror is all I have. =)

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