at the end

At the end of my life, I want to know that I have thoroughly enjoyed my journey on earth. I want to have loved, to have sacrificed out of desire and understanding, to have tasted emotions and in them, tasted the richness of Christ’s goodness in my life. I want to know that I’d impacted lives, not necessarily on a large stadium scale but individual lives that somehow, after meeting me, could find the inspiration and passion to carry on, to make a change.

At the end of my life, I want to be surrounded by love. I want to still get excited watching an ant push a crumb across the massive planes of my table, to smile when I see a flower bloom in the rain, to laugh when I hear a belly chuckle. I want to be able to enjoy snuggling under the comforters when it’s cold, to cuddle a warm body and squeal when the warm body’s toes are freezing cold.

Most of all, I want to laugh till I cry.
I want to be found smiling when I am gone.

There are so many years left that I know, the journey in truth, has only just begun. I can only thank God that at this junction, I know what love and desire is. I can enjoy the simple pleasures and be mesmerized by the complex. I get an adrenaline rush with chaos and gain sweet satisfaction from a mere piece of paperwork.

And on my tombstone?

‘She lived, laughed and loved passionately. With amazing style.’

I wonder what I’d wear in heaven?

[Image by Paul Boomsma]

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