sitting in the dark. reading. writing. musing about a day gone by.
having a sip from a cup of coffee. breathing slowly.
rolling over in sleep as the morning light streams in.
dangling feet over the side of tables. bouncing green balls off a wall.
choosing what i want to wear. not what i need to. simply because.
being vague. being obvious. being happy. being quiet. just being.
receiving a beautiful necklace from a friend. for no reason whatsoever.
maybe it was because of the intense busyness the past few months, maybe it was because i’m finally recovering from a really bad case of the flu… whatever it is, it feels good to be alive again. to take my time to see the world go by and not have to be part of the mad, rushing crowd on their way to somewhere important. these are simple luxuries in life that i won’t ever take for granted again. i stretch, recline and smile.
yes. it is good to be back.
There’s something deliciously guilty about getting up and taking the time to prepare for the busy day ahead… leisurely. The past months have been a blur of rush/rush/rush and I got used to always being quick because I was supposed to be somewhere else ten minutes ago. Today, I took my time purposefully.
Roll around in bed.
Drink my early morning coffee.
All very s-l-o-w-l-y and it was nice.
I raise my cuppa to a new day, a bright morning. It’s going to be long and yes, it will be busy and rushed later but for now, this very moment belongs to me. All mine.
Now if I could just get that slight nagging feeling in the corner of my mind that I should jump of my chair to get out of the house before I really am late.
I have officially sworn off all diets.
When the little girl wears a dress and remarks, ‘Oh! This dress makes me look fat,’ one can’t help but ponder, was this something she picked up from her parent?
And so the following words have been killed from my vocabulary.
2. i am fat
3. have i gained weight?
Hopefully, as I grow to appreciate my personal beauty, she too will understand that when I look at her, I see her gorgeous.
I have been busy. What an understatement.
I am on a learning curve that is far steeper than I ever wanted. I like learning. I just hate dealing with emotions. But like what PD said today to me, ‘All learning is at the expense of someone else.’ How true. People sacrifice either time, effort or comfort for your learning experience. You make a mistake and someone else suffers, or has to cover for you.
Now I am a person who dislikes intensely the need to make someone else give up something for me. If I can do it on my own, I will. But recently, I’ve had to pull in favours like never before, cause disruptions in other’s work schedules and basically, be a sore point of contention over a lot of other issues and this is simply not easy. So yes, I have wanted to throw in the towel and walk away. But I grit my teeth and hang in there.
Something DigiBoy said that impressed me greatly. We had to shoot at 6am and this was after 4 intensely tiring days… I asked him if he could get up to help. I was worried that he’d be tired, that he’d be sacrificing too much, and yet there was no one else to call in for help. His answer?
‘Let’s do it!’
It made me want to run longer, go further and dig deeper.
And that’s what friends are for. We don’t necessarily share life stories, life’s problems and do heart-to-heart talk time. But if he ever called for help, you can be rest assured I’ll be there.
Perhaps that is what this whole ordeal is about. The building of relationships and the necessity to trust others. Granted. There aren’t many. But the few you find, they are precious beyond measure.