There are some choices we make, some paths we take and addictions we turn away from, that we do out of love, not for ourselves but for those around us. It’s not always the easiest thing to do but the most necessary. How then can we maintain the will to pursue what we had to choose, if, left to ourselves, it wasn’t actually our choice?
A little heavy duty but that’s what happens when I completely forget the time and drink an espresso with dinner. I am up awake again, sleep far from my eyes, saddled with a mind that is racing with thoughts I’d put on the shelf in the midst of a busy life.
I remember the first time I made a choice for someone else other than myself. It was quite significant as I was only eight and mired in childhood self-preoccupation. I was ready to die. I had written my goodbyes and was standing by the window of my four-storey apartment, waiting for the perfect moment to climb out and take that leap. That perfect moment never came. Images of my parents crying continuously hounded me and I was caught up in pity for them (never mind why I wanted to die in the first place) and that suicide moment passed.
Today, I stand in 2009, a culmination of choices I made, promises I broke and responsibilities to honour. Being retrospective, I know it’s a little late, but here’s tribute to some of the best bits in 2008.
01. 1969 – Why The Suspense
02. M83 – Graveyard Girl
03. MGMT – Time To Pretend
04. Black Kids – I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You
05. Yeasayer – Wait For The Summer
06. Fleet Foxes – White Winter Hymnal
07. Bon Iver – Lump Sum
I won’t review the bands featured because hey, you can always google them and get better write-ups. Moreover, it’s easy to review a band heartlessly, not realizing the journey that they went through, the things that they put aside to believe in dreams. I won’t belittle that. Hopefully, they are happy with the choices they made, both in life and in music. Hopefully, you are too.